2018;

Happy New Year, I hope 2018 brings all the good vibes!! ✨

Since the turning of the New Year I've been writing and rewriting some kind of summary for 2017, and although I'm currently an English teacher, I'm not the best with words (or just a bit wary writing about my emotions).

I often feel like I'm shouting into a void on my blog and other social media but I still think it's important to document pieces of my life here and there, if not to learn from one day then to look back and remember.  

Incoming pretentious essay!!! 

2017 was a relatively transformative year, in little ways; 

I tried to fully immerse myself in life living away from home (still currently living in Singapore, for the past 3 years), 

aimed to set the best example to and not lose my temper with my students, 

attempted to learn piano (not graded, just pieces from Studio Ghibli or Final Fantasy that I love), 

tried to branch out and make new friends/become more approachable and less of a hermit, 

kept in contact with friends from home as much as possible (I'll write letters this time, I promise 🙈), 

finally took action to try and solve my anxiety issues after becoming overwhelmed, 

had a better run than the previous year with my artwork for Inktober (but nothing else, unfortunately, haha), 

kicked my fitness routine into gear (and redeveloped it), 

embarked on a fair few travelling adventures and used my Instagram as my quick-fix creative outlet through "photography", 

watched 6 seasons of Game of Thrones in around 4 months,

read a little more (though I'll aim to get through books more quickly for 2018), 

and most of all: learnt to reexamine my values, thanks to @miltreble ✨(and your recommendation of Mark Manson's book.)

At times I'd let the stress get to me. I made comparisons, overthought things, felt self-conscious about weight gain, wished my skin was clear, but worrying solves nothing and I should've chilled out. 

Being calm doesn't mean I can be lazy, but evaluating how I plan things to prevent the stress building up. 

I'll be honest and say coming back to SG for work after 2 weeks back home and in Germany still feels a bit bittersweet, maybe because my contract ends soon (unless I extend it) and I'm feeling lost about what to do next. 

But we should always be making the most of where we are at our present moment, we can plan towards our next journey but it's not always productive to wish to be elsewhere.

So..

My body isn't the same size as it was 2 years ago? Yet it still functions properly, brings me from point A to B, and gets me through the day.

Acne has flared up on my face or my skin looks irritated by rosacea?
Even if I don't feel like I look my best it's only a temporary external appearance, my thoughts and values have not been tainted, and I'll need to take better care of my skin and nutrition.

I'm feeling anxious or worried in a social situation? If there's no obvious reason why I'm worrying, I need to challenge my thoughts and present an alternative solution of how to rethink the situation. 

I've made mistakes or failures? That's what life is about. The more hurdles I cross over, the closer I'll be to finding my own value of success in my passions. 

Each year we go through our own realisations and growth, we're not the same person we were this time last year. We're always on a journey.

- - - - -

I'm not really into making resolutions, but here are a few little things I want to work on this year:

1. Learn German! 

I think it'd be valuable and important to speak to my Mum in her own language, as well as our family over there.

2. Stay focused with fitness;

For health, not to chase an idealised weight number. This includes optimising workouts and watching my nutrition. 

3. Create more artwork and pursue photography more seriously;

Surprise! This is always on my list every year, but I proved to myself with Inktober 2017 that it really is possible to make something almost every day. This includes working on ideas for an illustrated book; I've put this off for more than a year, but I've got a good feeling about 2018.
Aaand....I've got my eyes on a new camera 👀

4. Continue my minimalism journey!

Clear space, clear mind, organised life 🙌🏻

5. Blog more!

Even if I don't have photos to post (which negates the above goal..), but I shouldn't be afraid of writing just because.

- - - - 

I'll work through the negatives and improve my perceptions and be grateful for what I have, and get on with the personal work that means something to me instead of letting small worries get in the way. 

Gotta clear the fog in my mind to prioritise, and be fearless in the face of failures as making mistakes is all part of the process.

Resolutions don't need a significant day or a new year to represent a clean slate, we can start any time we choose. But sure, it's as good a place as any to start! 

Wishing everyone good energy, clarity, peace, kindness, resilience, acceptance, and your own created joy 🌻

Apologies for the swathe of cliches but they do resonate with me somehow~

Thank you for reading